We make many decisions throughout our lives, but very few have life or death consequences.  Ernest Shackleton, the famed explorer who led the Trans-Antarctic expedition of 1914-1916, was faced with several critical decisions that did impact the survival of his entire crew.

Shackleton’s ship, The Endurance with 27 men on board, couldn’t endure the extreme conditions navigating through ice in the South Atlantic Sea.  After getting trapped in an ice floe, it sank.  With little hope of rescue, Shackleton and five crew members spent 16 days in a small lifeboat crossing 800 miles of ocean to reach South Georgia Island.  At that point several of them had to trek across the island and over a mountain pass to reach a whaling station for help.

Their only supplies were rope, wood planks, and a small amount of food.  As they began their descent from the mountain top Shackleton suggested that they tie the planks together to make an improvised sled to carry them down the mountain.

One member of his crew objected, fearing they would fall off a cliff.

Shackleton explained that they would all freeze to death before making it to the whaling station. If they wanted to survive, their only hope was to take their chances on the sled.

The sled ride was a success.  They did not fall off a cliff, and a few hours later they arrived at the whaling station. They were greeted by a man Shackleton knew, although he and his men were so emaciated he wasn’t recognizable.

Despite the odds, Shackleton’s entire crew was rescued and survived. That is one of the more memorable successes of world exploration and it is a tribute to his decisive leadership (although I don’t know how he explained his loss of the ship to his financial backers).

I’m not an explorer, and I’ve lived my entire life in a city.  Thank goodness my decisions do not usually have life or death implications.  Years ago, I did fly on a chartered plane that landed nine-tenths of a mile from the actual North Pole.  After we enjoyed a leisurely walk on the ice, the pilot noticed a crack that was expanding in the direction of the airplane.  My decision was to sprint back onto the plane — faster than I have ever moved before or since.

We then had an adventure of our own on the flight back to the weather station in Northern Canada, but that story will have to wait for my next blog.

Happy travels!

Alan

For the past several years, I’ve made it a point to walk 4,000 steps every day.  That’s about two miles.  I walk so that, as I continue to age, I can continue to walk.  Somehow that feels like a snake consuming its own tail.  But enough philosophy.

This morning I was walking along Ventura Boulevard, a main street in the San Fernando Valley.  I passed five other pedestrians walking in the opposite direction.  I smiled at each and tried to make eye contact.

Most avoided me.  I did catch the eye of one woman, and we smiled at one another for a moment as we passed.  One walk, one (brief) connection.  Four nonconnections.

The U. S. Surgeon General announced last week that more than half the people in the United States suffer from loneliness, at least some of the time.  Several months ago, I read a report that single older men in Japan often live alone.  They don’t go out, and no one visits them.  That is a serious problem.  But it can be solved.

My father died several years ago at the age of 104.  When he was 80 years old, he complained to me that his grandchildren never called him.

“Dad,” I said, “telephones work both ways.  You can call them.”

To my surprise, he did.  As a result, they began to visit him more often, and he started going to watch his grandson’s ice-skating lessons.  Connections work both ways.

As in many marriages, the social scheduling had been handled by my mother, so after she died, I applaud Dad for successfully taking over that role for himself.  Despite his age, Dad remained connected to many people.

He loved to attend plays.  Once, when he was 100, and feeling under the weather, he told me that he wanted to go to the performance anyway.  “I’m not going to spend the rest of my life in the living room,” he said, as we pushed his wheelchair into the theater.

I hope others are reaching out to you, or you are reaching out to them, and I hope you are enjoying a fulfilling sense of connection in your life.

Connecting with others isn’t just for fun, it’s what makes our lives meaningful. I encourage you to focus on it.

Alan

Years ago, when I was studying Counselor Education, I learned that more than two major life changes within a 12-month period could contribute to a higher probability of sickness or death.  A major life change included marriage, divorce, loss of a job, and death of a spouse or family member.

Obviously, some of those changes, such as the death of a spouse or the loss of a job, might be beyond your control. But others, such as moving or getting married, might well be something you can control.

I have always taken this advice seriously, and to the extent I can control any major life changes I try to space them out over time. (Although I must admit that my third marriage lasted for fewer than 13 months, contentious throughout.  But that was five years ago, and I have now recovered).

I’ve enjoyed performing the same job (president of ACF Property Management, Inc.) for more than fifty years. In that entire span of time I’ve only worked in three different office locations.  I have also lived in the same general neighborhood in Sherman Oaks/Studio City for more than fifty years. No major life changes there!

In a few months Daveen and I plan to move to a new house – one with no stairs.  That is the only “big” change we have scheduled for this year, so our marriage must be safe until at least 2024.  (Just kidding, Daveen.)

There is a book by Thomas Wolfe, called You Can’t Go Home Again (which inspired the familiar saying). Yesterday Daveen and I drove by the house we had lived in together for more than 35 years.  There was a “Demolition” sign on the front gate, all the grass had turned brown, and there were weeds poking up between cracks in the asphalt.  I was dismayed to see my former house, like a dear old friend, in such a state of disrepair.  I won’t be going back to see it again. Some life changes just aren’t worth revisiting.

But now it’s time to turn my attention to more immediate matters – like rooting for the Los Angeles Lakers tonight in the first game of their NBA playoff series against Golden State.

Go Lakers!

Alan