The Pogo Stick Finale

It seemed like a great idea: get some exercise by jumping on a pogo stick. But it expanded into a series of blogs in which I’ve tried to explain why I have not yet bounced to the moon on my professional-style pogo stick. Last week I promised this week would be the do or die. (Poor choice of words, perhaps.)

I will now answer the question that all of you are asking. Did I actually bounce on my pogo stick?

My answer is a hearty YES. And a feeble NOT REALLY. To paraphrase President Bill Clinton, “That depends on what the word ‘bounce’ means.”

First a bit of flavor.

During the week an attorney friend of mine spied my pogo stick in the trunk of my car. He asked why it was there and I told him.

“Don’t do it,” he said.

“Thank you,” I said. “Now I can say I refused to bounce to the moon, upon advice of counsel.”

Yesterday Sprite and I visited our friend Ed in Tucson.

“I follow your blog,” he said, “so I drove to Costco and bought some bubble wrap for you. It might save your life.”

Sure enough, he gave me a large green roll of the stuff. The bubble wrap seemed like a great idea. Take a close look at the photo. That’s me on my white pogo stick, with green bubble wrap taped around my torso. I loved the crackle when I popped some of the bubbles.

I thought that grass would be a safer surface than concrete on which to fall, so after celebrating our first wedding anniversary at breakfast, Sprite and I drove to a local park. There were no strong young men around to hold me steady while I mounted the darn thing, so I found a tree. An older man getting out of his car stopped to watch. He waved and said, “Good luck.”

With my left hand I seized the pogo stick and with my right hand I clutched the tree. Then I climbed aboard and slowly began to bounce. Yes, my life has always been full of ups and downs.

YES, I was bouncing. But NOT REALLY. The pogo stick never actually left the ground because, well, it didn’t seem like a good idea.

Whew! I feel like I dodged a bullet here. Would anyone like a very slightly used pogo stick? It’s in the trunk of my car.

As we were driving home, Sprite mumbled to me under her breath, “Glad that’s over. Now maybe you’ll be around for our second wedding anniversary.”

I refrained from revealing to her my next hobby – elephant jumping.

Alan

P.S. By next week I plan to give you the link for the video of my 28 second pogo stick ride.

P.P.S. I’m not planning to go into detail on elephant jumping, because I don’t know if the elephant is supposed to jump over me, or I’m supposed to jump over the elephant, or the elephant is supposed to jump with me on top. But leaving that aside, even a small elephant won’t fit in the trunk of my car.