Take It Like a Man

While my memory might occasionally be hazy, I still remember most of the significant events of my life.

As many of you know, I’m a big fan of the USC football team. Years ago, I flew to Florida with friends to watch them play in the Orange Bowl.

My memory is that USC was ahead 35-0 at halftime when I visited the men’s bathroom.

In the bathroom, I overheard two fans of the other team talking. They were in some distress that their team was losing so badly. I remember that one of them said to the other, “What are we going to do?”

“Take it like a man,” the friend replied.

I smiled at the time because it was an implicit acknowledgement that USC was going to win the game. But over the years I’ve incorporated that answer into other aspects of my own life, like a secret sauce.

But what exactly does “take it like a man,” even mean? There is the gendered implication that men should suppress their feelings even in times of physical or emotional hardship or that women are weaker than men and can’t take it. But I choose to use those words to remind myself that sometimes, one needs to tuck in and get through hard times like an adult, and that applies to everyone, men and women alike.

Sometimes adversity doesn’t just knock: it blows the whole house down. Then what do you do?  Take it like a woman, or man, and do the very best you can under the circumstances.  Take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time, as that is often the only course.

For me that meant “taking it like a man” when my brother suddenly died, about twenty years ago. I was inconsolable for three years, and for the first six months I found it difficult to even function in my normal life. But I got through it, one day at a time.

Eventually even the hard parts of life fade into the haze of our past. To test my memory of that long ago game in Florida, I searched the internet for references. But I failed to find the USC Orange Bowl score that I remember from that event. I will assume that this is due to my failure to search properly, because, in my mind, I’m certain it happened.

This season the USC football performance has been mediocre. So, I’m taking it like a grown up, and not caring as much as I normally do about the outcome of their football games.

Take THAT, USC.

Alan