The Fragrance of the Roses

“I love to sniff roses.”

That‘s the thought-provoking statement I woke up to this morning.

When Sprite and I talk to each other there is often music behind the words, allusions that deepen the meaning.

“Say more,” I said.

“I love the fragrance of roses. I like to smell them as often as I can,” said Sprite.  “It’s part of living a full life every day.”

I kissed her, and then she continued.

“When my daughter was young I hugged and kissed her as much as I could.  I wanted to squeeze as much as possible into every day.  And I did.  I left my job to be with her. I wanted to fall asleep every night knowing that I did the most I possibly could to live a full life every day and that if I died or if she died I had given everything I could to her and to my day.”

Here’s a little background about Sprite.  For twenty-five years she was a journalist, either a reporter in the field or a local or network television anchor.  Virtually every day at work she dealt with stories about death.  Her first day on the job in a large Midwestern city she reported eight deaths.  Over her entire career there were tens of thousands, far more deaths than most of us are exposed to during a lifetime.  This experience helped Sprite to appreciate every day more than most of us and to understand that life can change in an instant.

We all tend to avoid thoughts we find disturbing.  I, for example, don’t like conflicts.  When I receive an email that might be a complaint I hesitate to even open it.  This is a big reason why I prefer to connect through texts or emails rather than on the telephone.  It is easier for me to avoid conflict.

Many people fear death and simply don’t want to think or talk about it.

I have good news, though it is easier to write about than to act on.  I’ve learned that when I deal with potential conflict immediately, when I answer that email or pick up the phone, the conflict I fear tends to disappear rather than magnify even though, as I said, this is easier for me to write about than to act on.

But when you know that you and your loved ones will someday die, rather than avoiding any thought of death you can choose to be more like Sprite, who expresses her joy in life, and her love, as much as she possibly can.

Back to this morning.

“And the same goes for you,” she said.  “I hug and kiss you as much as I can.  I don’t want to leave anything on the table.  Life is both precious and precarious, and I want to fall asleep tonight knowing I have been as close to you today as I possibly can be.”

I smiled.  What a lovely way to begin a day.  And a marriage.

Alan