Two Lessons Learned – Part Two
Last week I wrote about the lesson I learned from my high school Latin teacher, Mrs. Agulia.
This week I’m sharing a lesson I learned from my friend David Beaird who was a writer, actor, and director of plays and movies. In 1973, before he moved to Los Angeles, David won the Jefferson Award for best supporting actor in the Chicago production of Hot L Baltimore.
I owned a small retail building near my office that David transformed into The Whitefire Theater. It also served as a sound stage for shooting movies.
One morning I was sitting next to David in the third row of the theater as he auditioned actors for a new play he was directing.
The first two actors auditioned well. About a minute into the third audition David turned to me and said, “The first two were pretty good.”
I was horrified. In turning his attention away from the stage, he had literally turned his back on the actor. I had been taught to listen to others respectfully but could do little more than nod my head as David continued talking to me during the rest of the audition.
As soon as the actor left I asked David, “Why did you ignore him?” I did not say that I thought it was really rude.
“Alan,” he said, “it’s up to the actor on stage to hold my attention. If he doesn’t hold my attention at an audition, I don’t want him in my play. So I’m only going to pay attention when he does his job. It’s entirely up to him.”
David had far more experience in theater than I did, and while I didn’t expect his response I did remember that I had walked out of several plays because I was bored when the actors didn’t hold my attention.
“But you could have been polite and listened,” I said.
“Then how would he have learned anything?” he said.
Wisdom is where you find it. That morning I learned that I have to earn the attention of others, not just assume it, and I’m not going to receive your continuing attention unless you find what I’m saying, or doing, worth your time.
This larger life lesson I learned from Mrs. Agulia, David Beaird, and others, is this: none of us are entitled. We each have to earn our way in this world by being the very best person we can be – in a job, in friendships and with our families.
Thanks for giving me your attention – and reading what I have to say.
Alan