Us vs Them – It’s Hard Wired

On Sunday morning I often watch talk shows.  Today one show featured a Stanford University professor who stated that human beings are hard wired to have an “Us vs. Them” mentality. When we view photos of people who look different from us, a part of our brain lights up with a “danger” warning.  Tinder, a dating app, is similarly based on someone’s reaction to a photo.  Presumably people only swipe right when they are attracted to a photo and swipe left if the person in the photo triggers a danger response.

That makes sense to me.  After all, thousands of years ago we lived in tribes of 150 people, who were possibly the only human beings we would ever know during our lifetimes.  Everyone else in the world was a stranger and, as such, potentially dangerous.

But are we doomed to a lifetime of us vs. them?  Will it always be Americans against everyone else?  Californians against the rest of the United States? USC Trojans against the world, especially UCLA?  (I have degrees from USC but I have married graduates of UCLA, and even if self-preservation was not an issue I have found them to be decent people.)

From my perspective I’m the only “me” in the world and everyone else is an alien.  They are looking out for their own interests, and I am looking out for mine.

But that said, we still need to cooperate.  In fact, cooperation may be our greatest survival skill.  How else could we create a pencil, let alone an airplane?

Just as I was able to put aside my “us vs. them” Trojan mentality when I married, I believe our individual success depends entirely upon cooperation rather than antagonism. This is especially true as we huddle together in ever expanding cities (I read an estimate today that 70% of the world’s population in 2050 will live in an urban environment).

I root for USC sports teams, but my favorite part of every game is when the members of each team shake hands afterward.  It proves that we can be competitors and friends at the same time.  Let’s remember – the competition in a sporting event is just something we created to amuse ourselves.

It may be in our nature to distrust others, especially strangers. But maybe that aspect of our psychology is the reason we have the golden rule?  (Not the one that says “He or she with the gold rules.”)

As I wrote in People Tools, “We are each human, with all that label implies.  …[You can have] the best of a life, which is, alternately and simultaneously, both ridiculous and sublime.”

In the words of Rodney King, “People, I just want to say… can we all JUST get along? Can we get along?”

I’ll bet that we can.

Alan