What Would I Do if …

…I could do anything I wanted today?

This isn’t an idle question for me.  In fact, it’s a question that I often need to answer, (and not just on weekends).

Let’s face it.  Our lives are filled with obligations. We are often socialized to play our prescribed roles.  Yesterday I was watching my two-year-old grandson race around our family room, discovering whatever it is that toddlers his age need to find out about. As he matures, he will face years of socialization, school, and be encouraged to play his part in a (somewhat) scripted life.

When I was a child, I remember asking my mother almost hourly during the long summer vacations, “What can I do today?  I’m bored.”

Her answers were often pretty good.  The first tool in Mom’s “to do list for bored sons” arsenal was a visit to the Los Angeles Zoo.  I especially liked feeding peanuts to the elephants, and watching the monkeys fly around their cages in a fit of what seemed to be excess energy (but was probably bored desperation).  The zoo, however, was only good for one visit every month or two.  Riding my bike around the neighborhood was the more likely activity on my own daily “to do list” during those long summers.

Today I tell myself that I should “want” to be reading books when I find myself with time.  In fact, I have even bought the books that I should want to read: hard covers, paperbacks, and digital.  When I was on vacation recently, I actually did read five books.  But now that I’m home, I’m back to feeling that I should be wanting to read, as opposed to actually reading. Take last weekend, for example. How much did I read?

Nothing.  Although, I have to admit I watched sports on TV while playing solitaire, my favorite game on my iPhone.  It passed the time.  In the long run, it probably makes no difference at this point in my life whether I’m productive, or just plain enjoying myself.  Perhaps that is just a rationalization for doing what I really want to do.  But if I believe it isn’t that all that really matters?

All right.  Now I’ve been productive.  I’ve written my blog for the week.

Back to solitaire. Which evidently, is what I would do if….

Alan