With Gratitude the Glass Is Always Full

Is the drinking glass of your life half full or half empty?

Neither.

When you feel gratitude as a way of life your glass is always entirely full.

I recently read an article on how to achieve happiness. It cited pivotal research by Daniel Kahneman, winner of the 2002 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences. Kahneman concluded that beyond a certain level of income (the study said $75,000), self-reported happiness does not increase with greater income. So happiness does not necessarily depend upon how much money you have.

Another researcher determined that happiness is fifty percent genetic (choose your parents carefully), and that there are just two major factors that lead to greater satisfaction in life.

Gratitude.

Helping others.

Today I’m thinking about gratitude. I remember the astute advice of a friend who suggested to me a few years ago, “Don’t ask why this is happening to you. Ask, instead, why is this happening for you?” In other words, look for the positive lesson in any experience.

I am grateful for fresh air, trees, and the scent of night blooming jasmine. I’m grateful for many friends, excellent health, and my ability to find a silver lining in any situation. I’m grateful that I was born in the mild climate of Los Angeles and that I have always been able to live here. I’m grateful for fine medical care, the availability of tasty and healthy food, and my capacity to contribute to society through my writing.

In the final chapter of my book People Tools for Love and Relationships I talked about J, a friend of mine who lives by herself in a rented mobile home in a forest in Harbor, Oregon. She was seventy years old at that time. When I visited her a few weeks ago, J was seventy-four.

The two of us sat in chairs on her front porch, talking for hours about our memories and our friendship of almost fifty years. In some respects J has led a difficult life. When she was young she was physically abused by her parents, leading to serious life-long trouble with her back. J is in pain every day, and at night she cannot sleep for more than two hours at a time. When she was fifteen J was kicked out of her home, carrying only a small suitcase. For the next six months she lived on the streets of Hollywood. Even so, J has always helped others with whatever small resources come her way.

When I lived with J for several years in the 1970’s she was often sad. But during our recent visits J has been in high spirits. She has seemed quite happy, despite her painful back and a heart attack a year ago.

I asked J, “What do you remember as the happiest time of your life?”

She answered immediately. “Right now. Today.”

J is grateful for everything. The forest, the sunset we shared, and our heartfelt conversation on her front porch. When I left we shared a lovely hug.

At the age of seventy-eight I no longer try to shape the world to be what I desire. To the contrary. I am simply grateful for the silver linings that I find everywhere I look.

Get in touch with your gratitude every morning, every afternoon, and every evening. And live your gratitude right out loud. Let others know what you appreciate about them.

When you do, your glass will be completely full. And it will stay that way.

Alan