“Yes,” “No,” or “Maybe”?

Every day I am besieged with requests.

“Dad, can I borrow your SUV to move some furniture?”

“Would you please donate $5.00 to (fill in the blank)?”

“Would you and your fiancé like to join us for dinner on Saturday evening?”

In order to simplify my life I have learned to classify each request into specific categories, and I’ve developed a logical process for each category based on my patterns and preferences.  Here are four examples.

1. Requests from family. My bias is always to say “yes” to a request from a family member, so that is where I start.  If my daughter asks for money for a new dress I’ll say “yes” (unless I have a good reason not to).  If my fiancé asks me to pick up half-and-half at the grocery store on my way home, my first thought is always “yes.”  After that, of course, I might remember that she drove me into work in the morning and I don’t have my car at the office.
2. Requests for a political or charitable donation. My bias is to say, “Maybe.”  Then I think about the specific recipient and often say “no.” If my answer is “yes,” I’ll determine the amount I’m comfortable donating.  If my answer is still a “maybe” then I’ll ask for additional time to consider the request, or for additional information. But when I remember that my “maybe” is a temporary “no” unless it becomes a “yes,” I’m tempted to change my “maybe” into a quick “no,” because then I won’t have to spend more time thinking about it.
3. Requests for a social or business appointment. My bias is “no,” since I would rather spend evenings at home and days at my desk dealing with emails or questions from coworkers.  Once I get past my initial “no,” however, I often end up at “yes, I’d be happy to.”
4. Requests to make an investment. First I look for reasons to say “yes.”  If I can’t find enough reasons for “yes” then my answer is “no.”  If my preliminary answer remains a “yes,” then I look for reasons to say “no.”  This process not only helps me find good investments with my “yes” test, it also helps me weed out losing investments with my “no” filter.  Of course, my investment system is not perfect.  Just look at my dismal record of stock investments.  (My process has worked far more successfully in real estate.)

When you think about all of the requests you receive each day – from your children, your life partner, or at work — you might find, as I have, that they fall into a few major categories.  Like me, you can save both time and brain power when you simplify your reply process based on your own personal patterns and preferences.

Yes?

No?

Maybe?

Alan